My feeding journey began in March 2024 after the birth of my beautiful daughter Lucy.
When I found out I was pregnant, I wasn’t really interested in breastfeeding to begin with. But as I got further into my pregnancy, I realised it was something I wanted to consider more. In the last few weeks of pregnancy, I was collecting as much colostrum as I could by hand expressing. I found this really difficult to begin with but realised after a shower was always best.
Collecting colostrum in hospital
Find My Feet After Birth
When Lucy arrived, the midwives helped me to breastfeed but to begin with I found this really difficult. I was sore not only from giving birth but also from surgery as well. I really struggled the first few nights as no one was allowed to stay on the ward with me and getting up to my daughter was extremely difficult.
One of the midwives on the ward suggested that if I wanted breastfeeding to be successful, I could perhaps pump. I agreed, and she wheeled over the Ardo hospital-grade pump. Not much about expressing/pumping was covered in any of the antenatal classes, so I really had no idea what to do. The midwife fitted the flanges for me and brought over some cotton banding to hold them in place. She put it on the relevant settings, and the milk began to flow instantly. I would collect it in syringes for Lucy to have when she needed it.
In the hospital during the day, the feeding team would really help me to position correctly for breastfeeding, but again I really struggled to maintain a latch and actually have the confidence to hold my daughter. I would keep expressing in between, and I remember one of the midwives telling me how amazing the milk I produced was looking, as it was still so gold in colour. It was just the encouragement I needed to keep going. The midwives could see how determined I was, but over time the amount I was getting wasn’t enough. Someone from the feeding team suggested using something warm on my breasts when expressing and went off and filled some gloves with warm water. Again, as soon as this happened, my milk supply increased dramatically.
Cleaning all my pumping equipment
Getting To Grips With Pumping At Home
When I was discharged, I asked about borrowing a pump from the hospital (I had one at home just in case, but it looked a lot more complicated). I was able to borrow it for 2 weeks initially which then gave me enough time to buy my own to match. I’d been using the Ardo Calypso, which allowed the settings to be controlled by me rather than just automatic settings. I didn’t really know how to use it effectively, though, so one of the best tips I had was from my sister, which was to look up the pumping poem “to get the milk to start to flow set the cycles high and the suction low. Once the milk starts to flow set the suction high and cycles low”. This made it so much more effective in every pumping session for me as I then knew what I was really looking for.
I do always regret not going back to be fitted for flanges properly again though as it meant I was having to pump for longer and not getting the most out of it like at the hospital. My aim was always to try and donate milk, but after being discharged this wasn’t possible as much for me due to poor flange sizes.
Using the Ardo Calypso pump at home
Expressing Became Part of Our Routine
Like most moms, I really struggled with getting up in the night, and Lucy would usually feed for a long time (40 mins plus!). So I would try my best to express as much in the day to build up a nighttime supply so either my husband or mom could then feed it to Lucy. During the night when they were doing this, though, I would get up and pump to again encourage my supply as much as possible. It also allowed my husband and mom to bond with Lucy. I was encouraged to do this by the feeding team but was also told to allow someone else to give her a bottle so she didn’t get confused with me giving it to her.
Whilst I was expressing, I would be watching videos or looking at photos of Lucy. This really encouraged the flow of the milk. I always wrote on the bottles of milk the time it was expressed, as apparently there’s a difference between daytime and nighttime milk.
Carrying Lucy in a sling
Letting Go Of The Pressure
There was so much presumed about breastfeeding, such as it is natural and easy. And it is literally the hardest thing I’ve done. Battling with not only intrusive thoughts but also the pressure I was putting on myself was hard. I did find that because I was looking up expressing tips, I kept receiving posts about women who had huge oversupplies. This made me feel that I had to have a freezer full of breast milk – but again, it also really played into the pressure I was putting on myself. It is something I always warn others about: remember that what you’re doing is enough, and you don’t need to buy lactation cookies, etc. It’s all about having a good, well-fitted breast pump.
The support I also received from my family was huge, and it allowed me time to actually learn about what I was doing. Having snacks and drinks is always a good thing your partner can do! Over time I accepted that you don’t need masses and masses in the fridge/freezer and that what you’re doing for your baby is more than enough. All the expressing was more than worth it. At the time, it feels like it’ll never end, but it certainly changes what it looks like quickly!
2 years 4 months in, I’m still feeding, and it’s through all the help of expressing.
