As part of Down Syndrome Awareness Month, mum of three Emily shares her feeding journey with her son Parker, the support that helped her along the way, and how exclusively pumping became a source of enormous pride.
When I was pregnant with Parker, I imagined my feeding journey would look very different. I had breastfed my other two children and initially planned to exclusively breastfeed Parker too, before eventually expressing milk when I returned to work, just as I had done previously. I never imagined I would become an exclusively pumping mum from the very beginning.
Parker was born weighing just 5lb and, in those early days, he was incredibly sleepy. He had very little interest in breastfeeding and, when he did try, his low muscle tone meant he struggled to latch effectively. He also has a very high palate. It quickly became apparent that if I wanted to give him breast milk, expressing was going to be the way forward.
At first, exclusively pumping wasn’t something I had planned, or really knew much about. It was something that evolved because Parker needed me to find another way to feed him. In the beginning, I was pumping every two hours, around the clock, day and night, until his weight had stabilised. It was exhausting, but I was determined.
Newborn baby Parker
Learning About Down Syndrome Alongside Our New Baby
Becoming a parent to a baby with Down syndrome has been incredible, challenging and such a huge learning experience. Parker’s diagnosis came as a surprise after he was born, so we were suddenly learning about Down syndrome at the same time as learning how to care for our new baby.
His low muscle tone and high palate definitely played a part in our early feeding journey. Understanding this helped me realise that feeding might not look the way I had imagined it would.
But Parker is honestly the happiest baby. Watching his relationship with his older siblings grow has been one of the biggest blessings. Seeing them love him, make him laugh and include him in everything makes all the difficult moments feel so worthwhile. He is now six months old and absolutely thriving!
Snuggle time
Finding Our Rhythm with Exclusive Pumping
Exclusively pumping has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it is also something that has made me incredibly proud of myself. Once I got into a routine, pumping became second nature.
I pumped everywhere — on holiday, in the car, in supermarkets, at school meetings and even during dinners out. It became just another part of everyday life.
At home, I used my Ardo Calypso pump, and I also used my Ardo Alyssa when we were out, alongside wearable pumps intermittently. Having different options meant I could fit pumping around our life rather than feeling like our life had to revolve entirely around pumping.
There were definitely days when it felt relentless. You’re constantly thinking about when you last pumped, when you need to pump next, whether you’ve got enough bottles and storage bags, and whether everything is clean and ready to go. It’s not just the time spent actually pumping — it’s everything that comes with it.
Parker pictured with the Ardo breast pump
The Importance of Support
My husband was a huge support throughout the whole journey. He would make sure all my pumping parts were clean and ready for the day, and every night he would get my night-time set-up ready too — bottles, pump parts, storage bags and everything else I needed.
That support made such a difference, especially during those early days when I was getting up every two hours around the clock. Having someone share the practical side of pumping helped me keep going through some very exhausting days and nights.
Parker is thriving on mummy’s milk
Looking Back on Our Feeding Journey
Looking back, I’m incredibly proud that I kept going. What started as something I had to do because Parker was struggling to breastfeed became something I chose to continue because I wanted to.
It allowed me to give Parker breast milk while working around his needs, and it gave me a sense that, even though feeding hadn’t gone how I had imagined, I had found a way that worked for us.
If I could say anything to another mum who finds herself unexpectedly exclusively pumping, I would say that it is okay to grieve the feeding journey you thought you were going to have, but it’s also okay to be incredibly proud of the journey you end up having.
And to another parent of a baby with Down syndrome, I would say: you don’t have to have everything figured out straight away. We certainly didn’t. Take each day as it comes, learn your own baby, and don’t be afraid to find a different way of doing things. Your journey might not look like the one you imagined, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be beautiful.
For me, exclusively pumping became part of Parker’s story — and ultimately, part of mine too.
I may not have got the feeding journey I expected, but I got Parker, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.
